Every morning, Shrek wakes up and trudges to his office. It ain't glamorous being the Head Ogre of an ogrecompany. He's got piles of paperwork to chew through, meetings with annoying investors, and the constant threat of pests.

To top it all off, he's gotta fight off the monotony. Sometimes he dreams of just lounging in his swamp with a good bowl of swamp stew, but duty calls. He here grumbles and throws on his fancy pants. Another day, another dollar.

The Corporate Swamp: Everyone Feels It

Ya'll feel/sense/know it in your bones. The corporate/biz/establishment swamp/quagmire/sludge is real, and it's thick/churning/sticky. Big/The/Shady money calls the shots/controls everything/runs the show, leaving/screwing over/trampling the rest of us. It's a system/machine/structure rigged against the little guy/ordinary people/you and me.

• We're/They're/You're all just stuck/trapped/chained in this mess/circus/nightmare.
• It's/This is/That's time/past time/high time to fight back/break free/make a change.
• Let's/We can/They should drain the swamp/expose the truth/hold them accountable.

Don't/Ever/Never let them tell you/fool you/brainwash you into believing/thinking/accepting that this is just how things are. We deserve/can have/must fight for a better/fairer/just world.

Bayou Living > The Grind

Listen here, partner. This ain't your daddy's cubicle farm . Out here in the wetlands, life moves at a different pace . You get your hands dirty, sure, but you also get to hear the birds sing. No deadlines out here. Just the croaking frogs and the gentle lapping of water . It's a simple life , ya know? One you can't find in no city slicker hustle .

Farquaad's the Big Cheese Send Help

This stinks. Working for him/that little tyrant/the Short King is awful/terrible/a living nightmare. He's always yelling/constantly on my case/demanding impossible things and expects me to be perfect/treat him like royalty/clean his boots. I talked back once, and let me tell you, it was a horrible experience. Now he's watching me like a hawk/making my life hell/threatening to turn me into an ogre.

I just need to disappear. Maybe a fairy godmother/a dragon/one of those talking donkeys could help me escape/give me some advice/teach me how to fight Farquaad.

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* I'm certain he's going to fire me/turn me into a frog/make me his jester.

* I can't take it anymore/stand this/deal with this.

* Please, someone, send help!

Full Time Ogre, Part Time Meme Lord

He's a real monster, but in the best way possible. This dude lives and breathes being an ogre. When he's not laying waste to villages, you can catch him spreading laughter online. This OGRE has mastered the art of being a troll.

• Nobody's funnier than this ogre
• He lives for the likes
• Don't anger the meme lord

Weekend Forecast: 100% Swamped

Well folks, you better grab your boots and mosquito repellent 'cause this weekend is gonna be a real soaker. We're lookin' at swampy rain all the whole darn time with conditions in the low 90s. If you're thinkin' about headin' outdoors, best pack some extra repellent and a poncho. It might even be good for gettin' that crocodile watchin' in.